Exclusive!
Kenzo Bradbury:
Dad Bod or Father Figure?
Sources say the reclusive multi-hyphenate hasn't left his lounge chair in SIX WEEKS — and insiders are "concerned, but honestly kind of impressed."
Evidence
It was supposed to be a quiet afternoon. It was not. Witnesses report Kenzo Bradbury reclining "with the confidence of a man who has never once checked his email," a paper plate balanced on his chest like a medal of honor.
"He looked serene. Radiant, even," said a neighbor who asked to remain anonymous, then immediately gave us their full name. "Is it a dad bod? Is it a father figure? Frankly it's both. It's a lifestyle."
Reps for the star declined to comment, mostly because the star is his own rep and he was napping. SEE THE FULL SHOCKING GALLERY → (his portfolio)
Is Kenzo Growing It Out For A Role??
"He's basically Hagrid now," pals whisper. "We're afraid to bring it up."
The beard, once "a Tuesday situation," has reportedly developed opinions. Barbers within a three-mile radius have been placed on high alert.
Is it method acting? A cry for help? A gentle man simply forgetting razors exist? The critics weigh in →
Inside Rachel's Underground Bakery Empire
Illicit sustenance laboratory hidden in the redwoods — right here in West County! Croissants so good they "should be illegal." Sources say the butter content is "a national security matter." We sent a reporter. He never came back. He's fine. He's just still eating.
Enter the bakery →Dad Bod or Father Figure?
Poll of 4 sources, 3 of whom were the same guy. Thanks for voting!
"Is the beard load-bearing at this point? Asking for the whole neighborhood." — Concerned in the Cul-de-Sac
"I bought the miracle croissant. I am now flakier and much happier. 5 stars." — Buttered & Blessed
"Please stop photographing me by the pool." — K.B. (unverified)